Australia 2012 Kevin Bell
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Link to Pam's Melbourne Diary	Melbourne continued	Port Douglas	Pam's port Douglas Diary	Sydney	Pam's Diary Sydney	reef
Blue mountains	Blue Mountain Diary	St Kilda (last leg)	Pam's St Kilda Diary

 

Melbourne

Still getting tired at the wrong times and also, because the TEP has not worked too well out here in the Yarra Valley, I haven't been able to keep this site up-to-date. Although, if you could write down the stuff that happened in a normal day rather than getting on and living it, then it would be time to reach for Albert Camus's 'The Rebel'. I've always been a 'Myth of Sysiphus' man myself when it comes to the absurd life, particularly where French philosophers are concerned. Psychologists say that we don't have photographic memories and that every time we have to remember something we have to reconstruct it from fragments like lego, which is why stories get better with the re-telling. Anyway, the trip out was interesting and even though I didn't sleep a wink I think that if I hadn't been able to get horizontal it would have been pretty unbearable. Yes it's true that we did get upgraded to 'Diamond Class' and the chef did come to ask me how I would like my 'Ribeye'. I also own a set of free 'Etihad' lounging-wear that Steve wants me to burn and I have to say that the bacon and J.D and Coke are second to none in the Abu Dhabi top nobs lounge. As I said, it is nice to be horizontal during a long haul, but when you are flying through a thunderstorm for at least three hours in a weightless state wondering how much more it would take for the wings to come off, you wonder why you haven't been blessed by one's wife's ability to sleep on a clothes-line. Although, surely there are parachutes for first class passengers (even upgrades).

Steve met us at the airport and was already on first name terms with our driver who had apparently met someone from Inverness. We had a few drinks in an 'Irish Bar' whilst being told what a truculent set of degenerates Irish people were (except for all of the Irish people that Steve knew personally). It then became obvious that the Visa situation had moved out of the 'Na warriz mate' zone, due to a less than optimal arses-into-gear situation. Mrs Bell, who is in fact a world champion in the 'moving arses out of the park position', decided that our first tourist sightseeing visit would be the 25th floor of the 'Immigration and Citizenship' building where if necessary she would re-write the Australian Constitution. My only contribution was to drive the upgraded automatic Aurion Sports into town(they didn't have a cheap one left and this one's a beast) and climb the Parliament steps to ask directions to 'Immigration' from the armed policeman at the top (at home I'd have been shot before I got half way up) 'Na warriz mate, it's that big barstard over there, have a nice day'. So far, I have to say that these people are so nice that they shouldn't be allowed out, or at least should be confined to their own continent. Suffice to say, Steve isn't that keen on Australians, although he does like the one's that he has met. We are on the other side of the planet where people speak our language and drive on the proper side of the road and he still finds fault, although I tend to think that the colonial love of the automatic gearbox is not something that should be tolerated by our own dear Queen.

Saw some big long-tailed jumping thingys on the golf-course last night, not sure if they were Kangaroos or those smaller Wannabees.

We are all at the hotel tonight and had a few drinks. Steve looked at the T REX titanium dive knife that Jeff bought me for Christmas and said 'This is so cool, he's 10,000 miles away and he's still a f*****g hard act to follow'. I hope to get photos up sometime, but with the TEP wifi being dodgy and the having a good time situation kicking in, I may be some time...

PICTURES FOLLOW.

Steve stayed in the hotel with us Friday and Saturday night and then we dropped him off at work at midday today (Sunday) he had a couple of jobs to finish. It's been very hot and Pam went to swim in the pool after we dropped him off. Steve is coming back next Thursday (Australia Day) with a mate of his who is visiting and they have booked a game of golf here, we will be going on Friday for the shark dive. The golfcourse is pretty spectacular, but I don't think I will have a go. Steve has just phoned to try to get his friend on the shark dive and I was doubtful, but he said that he will phone and try to charm them. we are going on an organised trip tomorrow first on the 'Puffing Billy' that snakes through the mountains and then to Phillip island to see the penguins and Koalas and stuff. Steve says that if you see a wombat you need to punch it to show it who's boss, before it trys anything.

Weds

Had to do some washing today, so we went into Yarra Glen to find a Launderette. Very nice place, house prices are +++ and after we climbed up to the Kinglake National park where there are good views of the valley. On the way back we spotted several wineries and decided on Yering, which is not too far from the hotel. Very posh dining and sampling places on the site, also a hotel. They are asking some serious wonga per night for a room (incidentally Wonga Park is just down the road). We did a bit of wine tasting and looked knowledgeable and then decided that we'd better buy a bottle, because we'd drunk enough.

The Yarra Valley.